People often worry about being at a Salsa event when there are some very good dancers in the crowd or on the dance floor. They get intimidated, they hang back, they get embarrassed to dance.   Some of them hang out right over there where the best dancers are doing their thing, just standing there and watching and wishing, and feeling inferior, excluded or angry.  And some of them get upset because they don't get many dances.  Sometimes, the people who are worrying or intimidated are beginner or intermediate dancers, or dancers who are new to our LA Salsa scene. They may feel that the crowd is "cliquish" or "stuck-up" or "judgmental and critical".  Here are a few thoughts on the matter, and some strategies to get you dancing more, having more fun, and worrying less.

WHO DANCES WITH WHOM? - HUMAN NATURE AT WORK 

Most people most of the time choose their partners for 2 reasons:  1)  ability to dance at their level and in their style, 2) and friendship.  And within the dance community, these two often go together:  one's dancer friends usually dance at a similar level and in a similar style.  By the way, this is also true in other dances like hustle and swing, and in sports and many activities where a skill is involved.  If you play basketball or tennis, you usually play and hangout with  friends of a similar level of ability.  Whether this is right or wrong, fair or unfair, the fact is that it's just human nature. Generally, it's not "cliquish or stuck-up", it's just people naturally congregating together who enjoy and share a similar level and style of dancing, and a friendship involving shared views. 

For those who feel excluded, I would simply say that if you work your way up in terms of your dancing skills and style, and you hold similar views and make friends, most of these so-called "cliques" can eventually become the groups you congregate in, if that's what you wish. My point here is that they are not really "cliques" in the sense of being exclusionary, but rather people congregating together around shared skills and interests.

"IF I GO OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR, PEOPLE WILL SEE I'M NOT THAT GOOD"

Regarding the worry that some of these very good dancers are watching you and are judging and critical, The bad news and the good news:  1)  The bad news is that unless you're a really super dancer, they're not watching you.  You're being ignored.  2)  The good news is that unless you're a really super dancer, they're not watching you.  You're being ignored.  3)  And if you are a super dancer, and they're watching you with a frown on their faces, it's probably because they envy you, and also they're hard at work trying to steal your material. 

So you don't really have to worry at all about them watching you and being critical or judgmental.  Think about it:  who do we really watch on the dance floor?  The so-so dancers, or the really good ones?  The good ones, of course.  The point here is that everyone should just take every opportunity to dance, practice, learn, and not waste their time worrying  about who's watching, because they're probably not watching you anyway.  Being timid and staying off the dance floor is totally counter-productive: you dance less, make fewer friends, get less practice, and don't improve as quickly, so it takes you that much longer to reach the level you wish you were at, so that people would not look at you critically, and in fact would be admiring you and saying:  "Wow, so-and-so sure is dancing great!"

INTIMIDATION OR INSPIRATION?

Let's say you're a beginner or intermediate dancer and you're standing and watching some really good dancers, and you're feeling intimidated and afraid to dance.  The problem is not with these really good dancers.   The problem is in your own head.  You are not a victim of those dancers, nor of the thoughts in your own mind.  It is YOUR mind, YOU control the thoughts in YOUR mind.   You have a mental CHOICE that you can make:  You can CHOOSE to be Intimidated, or you can CHOOSE to be Inspired, by these excellent dancers.  You can CHOOSE to take the attitude that they're great and you're lousy, and that you'd be Intimidated and embarrassed to get on the dance floor.  Or you can CHOOSE to take the attitude that they have some great dancing abilities which someday you can learn, and you can use them as Inspiration to learn and grow bit by bit, as you study and practice this great dance over the months and years.  Intimidation or Inspiration:  You're not a passive victim, you have the power to actively CHOOSE whether you want to be Inspired or Intimidated.  Now, which would you rather choose?  Which choice would be more constructive for your dancing progress, for your self-esteem, and for your dancing pleasure?

DON'T GIVE UP!

Learning to dance Salsa takes time and work for most of us, and it includes some evenings when you feel you'll never improve and when almost no one will dance with you. But if you keep learning, by taking classes or privates, drilling the fundamentals and practicing, and getting out there social dancing, you will most likely master the dance and come to enjoy the results of all that work: the joy of dancing well and being able to dance with many different partners.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The Dance With Me studio has received a lot of positive feedback from dancers expressing their appreciation for tackling these typical but sometimes unpleasant problems.  And in return, We'd like to thank all of you for your feedback and helpful ideas to share with others.  Now, here's one more suggestion: don't give up!

See you on the dance floor.

PS.  Read this article again.  It is about changing personal feelings and actions.  No one can change this kind of heavy stuff by reading something once.

PPS.  Read it again....in a couple weeks.  Check to see how many of these actions you have put into practice?